When we discussed Autumn
by Ali Smith, one of the things we spent a decent amount of time talking about
was the relationship between Daniel and Elisabeth, and therefore also between
Elisabeth and her mother and how Wendy seemed to fit into the story herself. It
seemed to be somewhat popular opinion that Daniel and Elisabeth’s relationship
was, if not weird, then at least unhealthy to the extent that it grew to in
Elisabeth’s later years. Of course, this makes sense and any mother, like
Wendy, would be concerned for their daughter, and of course it wasn’t in
Elisabeth’s best interest to continue in this relationship that she was using
as a crutch to avoid real, and promising romantic relationships.
That being
said, I would like to play devil’s advocate for a little while and explore the
other side of the coin. If you look at it from a different perspective, what
Daniel and Elisabeth share is what everyone searches for, it’s even referred to
in the book, “The lifelong friends, he said. We sometimes wait a lifetime for
them” (52). I know that this friendship morphs into a romantic attachment in
Elisabeth’s mind, but that happens as a result of their friendship, a
friendship which never goes away even as things, time, they all change. The age
distance and the fact that Daniel has no romantic interest in Elisabeth of
course muddy the waters a bit, but it’s not always necessary for your feelings
to be reciprocated in order to validate them. Elisabeth may very well be using
her feelings for Daniel as a shield to stave off ever having to enter into an
adult relationship with someone her own age, with bigger stakes, but she also might
just genuinely love Daniel (whatever kind of love that is) and feel uninterested
in getting to know anyone who doesn’t make her feel just as strongly which is
also completely valid and plausible. There are so many different kinds of love,
and Elisabeth and Daniel most assuredly feel some kind of it for each other,
and feeling love for anyone in any form can make lesser feelings with lesser
people who you have a lesser connection with disappointing and unexciting.
I think one
of the most touching lines in the book is about falling in love with the way
someone sees the world. That’s the love that Daniel and Elisabeth share,
despite the confusion, the miscommunication, the age gap and every other reason
to come up with for why they are inappropriate or unhealthy. Daniel fell in
love with Elisabeth’s curiosity and open, innocent spirit, while Elisabeth fell
in love with Daniel because of his whimsical, and creative approach that makes
anything and everything feel understandable, and his endless fountain of
information that never runs dry or dull. They form this deep connection of mind
and soul rather than brain and body that truly stands the test of time. It has
to be one of the most innocent kinds of love: to simply want to absorb someone’s
outlook and be around them because the world can be a different place when you’re
together. Here lies the fundamental misunderstanding with Wendy when she
forbids Elisabeth to see Daniel, and when she thinks it’s weird that they enjoy
spending time together. Elisabeth’s mother is a fairly complex character, but
she’s also one who is pretty much stuck in who she is and what she believes,
and once she believes that Elisabeth and Daniel have an inappropriate
relationship it becomes impossible to make her see otherwise.
The most difficult
part of their relationship to defend is Elisabeth’s undying devotion to Daniel
while he is literally dying. Not that her loyalty and concern isn’t
heartwarming in a sense, but she takes it to such great lengths it becomes
almost verging on the unsettling if seen through a different lens. Elisabeth’s
attachment is one of those in which context is a big part of whether or not it’s
time to call the police. If Daniel, for instance, did not reciprocate any
feelings for her whatsoever, her decision to impersonate his granddaughter in
the hospital, and make decisions on his behalf would be something people definitely
go to jail for. But it’s not creepy because Daniel loves her too, and he’s
connected to her too, and even though he doesn’t talk about it and she doesn’t
really show up in his thoughts, she is the person he asks for, and she is the
person he’s happy to see during the few brief moments of consciousness and
clarity he has left. So in this perspective, it’s actually not really fair to
say their relationship is one-sided, or unhealthy, or inappropriate because for
whatever it is, it’s an enduring lifelong love and friendship, and putting
everything else aside, that’s what everyone searches sometimes their whole
lives for, and few are lucky enough to find, so shouldn’t anyone hold on to
something like that if they do find regardless of what form it takes?
No comments:
Post a Comment